


No Homo, Bro

by ScarfyTheShipster



Category: Borderlands
Genre: Bros being hoes, Crack, Ficlet, M/M, Sex, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-01
Updated: 2016-01-01
Packaged: 2018-05-10 22:56:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5604079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScarfyTheShipster/pseuds/ScarfyTheShipster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I decided to kick off 2016 by writing smut at 1:30 AM while inebriated. Total crack, enjoy!</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Homo, Bro

Rhys laid on his bed, propped up by pillows as he kissed Vaughn, who was astride his lap. Their mouths connected lovingly for a few seconds before parting and meeting again, each wanting and craving the other. Rhys' mouth opened as he sighed, welcoming Vaughn's deeper kissing. "I love you," he said softly, hugging Vaughn close.

"Same, brotato," replied Vaughn lovingly. "No homo bro, but you feel kinda hard."

"No homo bro, but you're kinda hot. No, make that really hot." Rhys smiled sweetly at Vaughn. "You should fuck me in the ass."

Vaughn angled his head and kissed Rhys' neck. "Are you going to just casually suggest it, or do you want to beg for me, pretty boy?"

Rhys whimpered as Vaughn bit and sucked his neck, clearly marking and claiming him and giving him the little spikes of pain he liked in bed, fading quickly but still staying as bruises. He definitely wanted to beg, to please Vaughn, to get as close as he could. "Can I touch your abs while I beg? Pretty please with fuzzy socks on top?"

"You may sensually rub my body as much as you like, sweetbro."

Rhys lifted Vaughn's shirt and stroked his abdomen, tracing the muscles and feeling the strength and masculinity beneath his fingertips. "You have the body of a god, and I want to be made love to. Oh please Vaughn, take me like only you can, make me scream-"

"Tell me how you want it, Rhys." Vaughn roughly sucked another hickey into Rhys. "Do you want to be /fucked/?"

"Yes, Vaughn please-"

"Do you need to be bent over, maybe even pinned down so you can take it all, my pretty noun that kinda means slut but isn't offensive?" 

"YES."

"Do you want it to be hard and rough like a calculus class?" 

"Oh very yes!"

Vaughn tore the buttons off of Rhys' shirt as he ripped it open. He toyed with Rhys' Nipples and teased his fingers down Rhys' chest. "Do you like this, Rhysbro?"

"Bro, so much yes. Oh- ooooh," moaned Rhys as Vaughn tweaked his nipples until they were sore and aching in his fingertips. Rhys squirmed but his cock twitched at the pain, whining at the mix of sensations it gave him. "Roll over."

"But you're on top of me."

"Fucking god? Who cares about where I am? Stick your butt in the air and everyone will assume I'm safety out of the way, okay? So much awkward moving like people actually having sex is so tedious. Let me just slide in like a Popsicle going really fast but sexy on a slip and slide."

Rhys shivered. "I don't like Popsicles or cats."

"I'm so glad to be into butts so I don't have to worry about children," admitted Vaughn. "They're loud and enjoy getting up in the morning, and I can't deal with that in my life." He flipped Rhys over because he's strong and Rhys is a packet of mild sauce and he tugged Rhys' slacks off, revealing regular men's underwear beneath. "Who wears boring underwear when they're going to be having sex?" 

"What, are you doing a photo shoot?" 

"If I had been I'd have to reschedule on account of your buttocks being boring. Imagine my theoretical disdain tent!"

"Please talk less and fuck more!"

Vaughn undressed and held Rhys' hips. "Are you ready?"

"I'm so ready bro. I prepared myself some convenient time ago so I can just take it."

Rhys moaned and pushed his body back into Vaughn as Vaughn slid in, stretching him and hurting slightly but in good ways. He bowed his head and whined as Vaughn started pounding in relentlessly, creaking the bedsprings and making Rhys part his legs even more. "No homo broooooooooo," he groaned as Vaughn thrust in balls deep. 

"We're such GOOD FRIENDS!" yelled Vaughn, coming fast because the author is about to pass the fuck out. "FRIENDSHIP!" he screamed as he came cum inside Rhys.

"NO CHILDREN OR CATS!!!" yelled Rhys, conveniently passing out because he is Weak after he came.

The end !!!!

**Author's Note:**

> I actually ship Vaughn and Rhys really romantically with lots of feelings lmao
> 
> But ayyyy hope some one liner made someone laugh! (I don't even remember writing most of this? Omg)


End file.
